Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Holy Cow Batman!


I got the following in an email. I thought it was worth sharing in light of the current economic climate. It obviously plays on national stereotypes, so if you get offended by that, maybe don't read it.

Economic models explained through the medium of... cows.


SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows.

None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are democratic.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

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